An almost original tale from Isaac Asimov, Agatha Christie and George Lucas

Blogalaxia Tags: Comics, Science+Fiction, Isaac+Asimov, Agatha+Christie, George+Lucas

Today I inaugurate a new section (I don't plan to continue in the future) that deals with de the worst science fiction comics of the history. Or at least, the worst ones among those than have happened through my hands, that are not many, but carefully selected among those sold at 3 for a dollar.

I will begin with the third position, the bronze medal, that I dedicate to the version in comic of the pilot episode of the mythical series “Galactic Battelstar”, well-known as “Galactica” by the Spanish children of my generation who did not have any better thing to do during summer vacations than seeing the exciting episodes of a series that already then was at least 10 years old and that was made to take advantage of the scale models and characters that were rejected when doing the first trilogy of “Star Wars”. In short, this series, without reaching at the dialectic depth from “Buck Rogers”, was my inspiration source to draw one of my first comics, in which bad robots with a red light in the eyes (original isn't it?) attacked the Earth, but after many laser beamses at the end it was saved. The most extensive dialogue was carried out by a human who said to a robot, “do you like to die? then here you are!”, and then it shotted him with a laser ray. Thus, it seems that some undesirable one stole my original idea and was lucky enought to have it published!

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Secondly the famous “Hercules, Prince of Power”, and I say famous because at least the name of Hercules sounds to everybody, like the well-known Greek hero who once retired spent his time solving mysterious crimes. It is not necessary to talk about the terrible quality of the drawings, that is more than evident, nor about the doubtful script in which some supposed space soldier-heros, dressed in the style of ancient Greeks have to deal with the whims of interstellar Gods under a series of ridiculous situations. I would just say that the only positive thing about this comic is that the authors were kind enough to plan it as a “limited series” of only four chapters, with the purpose to avoid causing an irreversible damage in the neural networks of their reckless readers. However, it is more than probable that the series was interrupted prematurely, given the excessive success of the first delivery.

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The first position is reserved for this Wonder of Creation that happened to be called “Primortals”. The truth is that there is no way to know what about it goes but is something related to bizarre tiny beasts that make things barely interesting. But the most miserly thing of this , that makes it deserving of this award, is the indiscriminated use of a pair of “famous” names to try to give credibility to it. Firstly, the comic is indeed entitled “Leonard Nimoy' s Primortals”, in a direct reference to the actor who incarnated the expressive Spock in the Star-Treck series. Nevertheless, having a look to the authorships, it is clear that this good man in the best cases just made the mistake to allow those crazy people to include his name in that awkward creation. In case this was not enough, a timid subtitle dares to suggest that this tale includes some “concepts from Isaac Asimov”. What the hell means that? Maybe it is just that in this comic there is a robot that is able to talk, and given that in the tales from Asimov there are talking robots, they already had the right to put another name to add a little of quality to the subject. In short, I found the idea so brilliant that I couldn't help to apply it to the title of this post…

Charlie and the musculate factory

Blogalaxia Tags: Charles+Atlas, Dinamic+Tension, musculation, Abdominazer, Chuck+Norris

My appreciated readers, since I have stated that a great part of those who visit my page by error are looking for appraised information on the body-building techniques from Charles Atlas, I am going to write a new post with the ain to generate, sorry, to avoid m0re confusion among the internauts. Thus, in this blog, and as a world-wide premiere, still at risk to enter conflicts of copyright, I will explain with many details what the technique of the Dynamic Tension consists, including explanatory schemes and graphs. I am conscious also that the journalism school is going to me to demand me for professional invasion, because that is indeed the work of a professional journalist: to explain until the minimum detail of something in spite of not having neither the most remote idea of what it means, nor the minimum interest in knowing it.

The technique of the Dynamic Tension of Charles Atlas lasts for ages…

Returning to the subject, Charles Atlas, whose true name is Gayumbo Man, as everybody knows, was brother of Super Man, but he did not have superpowers. In fact, it was a rather weak and small type, often bullied by their classmates. Until a good day discovered a technique that would change his life and would revolutionize the market of doping drugs: the preventive fist, also called “dynamic tension”, name that refers to the fact that when making a fist, in a preventive way, to someone who is thought to hide massive destruction weapons in the pocket, we will cause a great tension among his/her molecules, which gives rise to an absolute chaos of the nervous system, then the body is invaded by hordes of killer terrorist bacteria and virus that turns the victim inot some kind of autist Zombie, who won't follow neither his will nor the one from his aggressor. Very useful, isn't it?

In order to begin, I will show you an image that speaks by itself, and that shows us how simple is to attain perfect abdominals with the method of Dynamic Tension of Charles Atlas (by the way, it seems that this man is reincarnating in different people, because it is more than 50 years ago when he developed this technique and still looks quite young, must be something like the Dalai Lama of body-builders).

The last trend in exercises based on the technique of the Dynamic Tension of Charles Atlas: the “abdominal marker”.

We can forget those troublesome machines that the holly master Chuck Norris announces on TV, and of course those expensive quotas of the gymnasium. In words of the owner of a gymnasium, interviewed for an TV-shop ad: “now no longer you will have to waste your money coming to our gymnasiums”… without a doubt this guy was use to cultivate his body, but not his mind… or he was the reincarnation of Christ hibrydised with St. Mother Teresa from Calcuta, and had descended from heaven to save the planet.

Next, a video that shows another kind of typical exercises of the technique of Dynamic Tension of Charles Atlas. One is which one has occurred in knowing as the “technique of the pendular broom in dynamic tension with the oscillating movement of a servomechanism of opening and automatic locking of intermarchedic controlled by an optical sensor and with security system anti-I block”.

Good, I hope that all this has been useful for those willing to improve their techniques of body-building, although I guess not. As Super-mouse said, the secret for a “Body Atlas” is to hypervitaminate, hypermineralize yourselves and to take tones of illegal doping drugs. Personally, I prefer to dedicate me to the technique of static distension, which works very well for me, and also allowed a man with a long, red beard to live more than 3000 years.

The asceth mystic Hindu North American who lived more than 3000 years seated on his sofa watching TV and feeding himself exclusively with beer and Twinkies (r), which is something similar to a Bollycao (r), but stuffed with cream, and produced by Hostess (r).

ALIENS, the return

Blogalaxia Tags: Mayan, extraterrestrial Palenque, ufos, Ummo,

After deserved (at least for my undergone readers) vacations, I retake the subject that I had outlined in my last post. And I'm not talking about the exciting world of the Dirndl and the Lederhosen, but about the not less exciting but much more disquieting universe of the UFOS. In particular, I would like to talk about the famous Spaceman of Palenque, whose tomb was discovered by professor Ruiz the 15 of June of 1952, inside a Mayan pyramid. In order to refresh your memory, specially for the masculine public, whose memory would keep a better record from other images of the last post, I retake the two comparative photos that show the exceptional similarity between the engraving of the tomb and one spaceship like those that were sent to the moon.

Comparative between the engraving of the tomb of the Spaceman of Palenque and an artistic interpretation of a lunar module like the one used in the shooting of the supposed arrival of the man to the Moon. Aside from the impressive similarity, if the buried being were not extraterrestrial, why the hell the Mayans named him “Spaceman of Palenque”? …

Leaving a side that, as all conspiranoic knows, the arrival of the man to the Moon was not so but a quite coarse assembly of the government of the United States to get out of trouble in its failed space race, and that some decorative details of the drawing of the lunar module are perhaps not totally faithful to the original design of the spaceship that was used in the false conquest of our satellite, and that this time I have added a subtle shading to the image of the graving to facilitate the comparison… the similarity is amazing! The skeptics will ask themselves: why a lunar module and not a flying saucer? The answer is simple: the tomb of Palenque is about 14 centuries old: at that time the extraterrestrials (without a doubt Ummites, as we will see below) were in first stage of exploration, and used similar devices to those that technicians of the NASA copied more ahead for their Lunar show. As everybody admits, even most skeptical (to see article in the newspaper El País), the first flying saucers (with the exception of the indian Vimanas) were not discovered until the summer of 1947, when the pilot Kenneth Arnold encountered seven strange objects that moved through the sky at supersonic speed while he flew over the Ramier mount with his small plane.

Yes I know, some skeptics still will say that this proves nothing. Nevertheless, the enigma of Palenque still hides greater surprises. Two investigators of Nize (Guy Tarade and André Millou) have found in manuscripts of the Populvuh* (sacred book of the Mayans) some fragments talking about an infinitely old civilization that knew nebulas and all the Solar System: “Those of the first race were able of all knowledge. They studied the four corners of the horizon, the four points of the arc of the sky and the round Earth face”.

*It is worth to say that there are no written copies of the Populvuh, but any Mayan knows it and can recite it from memory. Also we have to admit that, in spite of the good faith of the Spanish conquerors and the not least civilised Azteks, many Mayans did not survive either… Anyway, the oral tradition stays more or less, which allowed the investigators to rewrite the book, by hand (they did not take the typewriter to their interviews with the natives) what lead to the aforementioned manuscripts.

Impressive, isn't it? But this is not the end: the tomb contains the rest of the “pre-Columbian white God”, or “the man with the mask of jade”, as named by the Spanish conquerors. Indeed, the deceased was not a Mayan: neither its morphology nor its height (175 cm) agree with the one of the humans who lived in the zone. Without a doubt, all these details agree amazingly with the typical appearance of the inhabitants of the Ummo planet, like those who landed in the suburbs of Aluche and San Jose de Valderas (Madrid) between 1966 and 1967, and that Doña Eugenia Arbiol de Alfonso (left photo) could perfectly see from her window in the second floor from the Campo Florido Street in San Jose de Valderas (Well, in fact Doña Eugenia could see the landing in San Jose de Valderas, but not the one in Aluche, and in no case she could see the crew of the flying saucers).

A typical ummita according to prestigious Argentine magazine “2001”, and two typical examples of colonizer Ummitas.

If this is not enough, the Mayan engravings are filled with references to extraterrestrial beings and technologies unknown by the humans. They are plenty of Spaceman-like creatures, as well as with beings using the sound waves like driving force. Going back in time, their predecessors the Olmecas left amazing carved heads adorned with a typical helmet of spaceman. Also we have the Orejona Goddess that, according to the Andean traditions, came from Venus. Although the Mayan civilization is left a little far from the Andes, it comes from the same continent, and that's enough.

Gigantic Olmeca head with its characteristic helmet of astronaut, whose characteristics are relatively Póssimos to me… Orejona goddess with its spaceship, and a Mayan engraving showing two extraterrestrial ones, the one of the left examining a radar and the one of the right using a system of sonic propulsion, whose similarity with a cigar is with no doubt accidental.

In short, although the efforts of some skeptics and organizations with dark interests to discredit the investigations on the UFOS, it is evident that the extraterrestrials have been visiting us for a long time, and that some have not only remained but that they became to be rock stars or to even become the greater landowner of Spain, receiving for that reason an enormous amount of money from the European Union in the form agrarian subsidies, in spite of not having stepped on a field of wheat in its life.

In order to finish, I left you with some commentaries for reflection, of the almost prestigious North American scientist Hyar Verril, that although having nothing to do with Palenque, is really disquieting:

“The high plateau of Bolivia and Peru evokes another planet. That is not the Earth, it is Mars. The pressure of oxygen is half of the one at sea level.”
“Human beings who knew to work metals, who had observatories and who had a science that enabled them to carry out works that are almost impossible with present means; some irrigation works would be with great difficulty attainable with our electrical borers.”
“ So why beings who did not use the wheel constructed great hard roads? I believe that the great works of the old ones were not made with equipment to carve stone, but with a radioactive paste.”

cf. Several authors, 1969, “Cyclop, the incognito of the space”, Cyclop, S.A.E.

Fashion of Pierre Cardin for season 1969/1970. Without a doubt the fashion designers from the end of the 60 still were in contact with the people's culture of the moment, not like those from now, that live in another galaxy…

and some even consider themselves as “artists” jajaja! …