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Sunday, October 14, 2007

Charlie and the musculate factory

Blogalaxia Tags: , musculation, ,

My appreciated readers, since I have stated that a great part of those who visit my page by error are looking for appraised information on the body-building techniques from Charles Atlas, I am going to write a new post with the ain to generate, sorry, to avoid m0re confusion among the internauts. Thus, in this blog, and as a world-wide premiere, still at risk to enter conflicts of copyright, I will explain with many details what the technique of the Dynamic Tension consists, including explanatory schemes and graphs. I am conscious also that the journalism school is going to me to demand me for professional invasion, because that is indeed the work of a professional journalist: to explain until the minimum detail of something in spite of not having neither the most remote idea of what it means, nor the minimum interest in knowing it.

The technique of the Dynamic Tension of Charles Atlas lasts for ages…

Returning to the subject, Charles Atlas, whose true name is Gayumbo Man, as everybody knows, was brother of Super Man, but he did not have superpowers. In fact, it was a rather weak and small type, often bullied by their classmates. Until a good day discovered a technique that would change his life and would revolutionize the market of doping drugs: the preventive fist, also called “dynamic tension”, name that refers to the fact that when making a fist, in a preventive way, to someone who is thought to hide massive destruction weapons in the pocket, we will cause a great tension among his/her molecules, which gives rise to an absolute chaos of the nervous system, then the body is invaded by hordes of killer terrorist bacteria and virus that turns the victim inot some kind of autist Zombie, who won't follow neither his will nor the one from his aggressor. Very useful, isn't it?

In order to begin, I will show you an image that speaks by itself, and that shows us how simple is to attain perfect abdominals with the method of Dynamic Tension of Charles Atlas (by the way, it seems that this man is reincarnating in different people, because it is more than 50 years ago when he developed this technique and still looks quite young, must be something like the Dalai Lama of body-builders).

The last trend in exercises based on the technique of the Dynamic Tension of Charles Atlas: the “abdominal marker”.

We can forget those troublesome machines that the holly master Chuck Norris announces on TV, and of course those expensive quotas of the gymnasium. In words of the owner of a gymnasium, interviewed for an TV-shop ad: “now no longer you will have to waste your money coming to our gymnasiums”… without a doubt this guy was use to cultivate his body, but not his mind… or he was the reincarnation of Christ hibrydised with St. Mother Teresa from Calcuta, and had descended from heaven to save the planet.

Next, a video that shows another kind of typical exercises of the technique of Dynamic Tension of Charles Atlas. One is which one has occurred in knowing as the “technique of the pendular broom in dynamic tension with the oscillating movement of a servomechanism of opening and automatic locking of intermarchedic controlled by an optical sensor and with security system anti-I block”.

Good, I hope that all this has been useful for those willing to improve their techniques of body-building, although I guess not. As Super-mouse said, the secret for a “Body Atlas” is to hypervitaminate, hypermineralize yourselves and to take tones of illegal doping drugs. Personally, I prefer to dedicate me to the technique of static distension, which works very well for me, and also allowed a man with a long, red beard to live more than 3000 years.

The asceth mystic Hindu North American who lived more than 3000 years seated on his sofa watching TV and feeding himself exclusively with beer and Twinkies (r), which is something similar to a Bollycao (r), but stuffed with cream, and produced by Hostess (r).

1 comment:

superwoman2113 said...

what a dip chit